Breaking news....

This made me laugh so hard that I had to share! Look at my link for funny mormons for more!
Breaking News: Top Ten Talk that Should Never be Given
by Bettyanne Bruin
I was once in a ward where a man gave a talk on empathizing with Satan. I don't recall there ever being a quieter chapel, as everyone sat there... stunned. His talk include such ideas as, poor, poor Satan, that it must have been so hard for him to fight against the plan, what it might have been that was really bothering him and how we should have empathy for ALL of our brothers and sisters, including Satan.
This has prompted the following list:Top Ten Other Talks that Should Never be Given in Church:
1 - Can Tobacco Be All Bad if it Has Medicinal Purposes?
2 - The Pros and cons of paying tithing
3 - Because I have enough faith, I will never need anti-anxiety medications
4 - I Lost 100 Pounds Drinking Coca Cola
5 - In lieu of testimony, playing an Oakrigdge Boys song (this actually happened in a ward I was in also)
6 - Expressing gratitude for extended life after suffering a brain aneurysm while have intimate relations with spouse (this was also true in the same ward) and he explained in detail how this happened. I covered the ears of the child next to me!
7 - After Reading all of Isaiah, I Believe I Know the actual day the Second Coming will Arrive
8 - I Never Do My Home Teaching and Yet I Still Feel Blessed
9 - Because I got my husband sent home from his mission, he got a great job he would have missed out on
10 - How Spending So Much on Food STorage made us lose our home.